do you think reese witherspoon calls her children reese’s pieces cause i hope she does
The year is 2014. Miley Cyrus is holding a concert. A large group of fans stand in the crowds cheering. They hear a voice over the loud speakers.
"ARE YA’LL READY TO PARTY?" it shouts.
The crowd gradually stops cheering, confused. Ya’ll? It couldn’t be. The lights shine bright and the middle of the stage begins to rise. Immediately the blonde figure in the center is recognized.
A crowd of 15 year olds runs in. They remember her.
Hannah Montana has returned.
THERE ARE 8 YEAR OLDS ON bROADWAY AND I TRIPPED PUTTING MY SOCK ON THIS M ORNING
my mom just said “watch this” then ran a red light and said “i just don’t care”
I swear to God if one more stupid fandom ruins a beautiful text post i am calling the police.
you could have at least showed up in order
what if one day someone delivered a box to your house and it was filled will every single pen, pencil, marker etc that you’ve ever lost??
I dont think they make dump trucks that big
are you ever just reading a book and you come across word that you don’t know how to pronounce so you just go afkjhjdsfsjkdhs in your head
when it’s someone’s name and you have to keep doing that for the rest of the book
and then they make the book into a tv show and suddenly every name is pronounced a certain way and your life is never the same
when i was in grade 3 our class was having a party and i brought in the shrek soundtrack and everyone loved it and the girl i had a crush on winked at me i owe everything to shrek
i just told my mom i died at birth and i’ve been a ghost this entire time just growing and manifesting into the daughter she’d lost
and she’s just like
well please go to the light because i am tired of your shit
christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”
"a career" "financial security" "a sex life" "tuition for grad school" "alcohol" "a nap" "socks would be nice"
in class i’m used to sitting in the back and making all these smartass comments under my breath
now i’m in the front though so when our attractive instructor drops something and says ‘ah, fuck me!’ and i say ‘maybe later’ he hEARS ME AND LAUGHS GODFUCKING FUCK
the saga continues today in physics when our instructor asks ‘and how fast does light travel?’ and i whisper ‘hella’ and the kid next to me fucking loses it